Prologue to Tearing the Fabric

In our beginning God created the world. He created the birds in the sky, the fish in the water, and the mammals on the land. God then found he still had love to spare and created man, and God cared for man in his garden paradise like pets in his 'yard'. He gave them food, water, and love, and they thrived in his care.  That is until one displeased him and he cast them out to fend for themselves.  But that is not this story.  

In this story Eve never bit an apple nor did man learn the secrets that God didn't want man to know in his infancy. In fact, in this story, he didn't even really 'create' this world. Only did he 'create' in the sense that he helped shape it into what we know and see now as our world.

See, God was created so far back in antiquity that the word 'made' no longer had any meaning for him. He once had known the love of a maker and once had known the nurturing light of what we call 'family'. But that memory had been lost to him in the distance of time. How he escaped the sucking darkness that swallowed his world was so buried in his memories that he no longer even wondered. The destruction of all he knew left a hole in his soul that as he wandered he had forgotten he was even searching. He gave up even the hope of finding something to fill it so long ago that he began just floated along in the universe, looking, watching, and waiting without even realizing what he was out there doing.

God floated along for eons, or moments depending on how you view time, until he found a bright star that seemed to attract him, like a magnetic pull, and he saw a lovely young planet struggling to survive on her own in her little galaxy. God had watched planets in his trek across the universe. Watched them struggle, some survived, some did not. None did he see with light like that which shone from this small young planet. It was like destiny called to him from this planet so he paused in his travel.  Paused to watch, how long he watched was not clear as time is relevant and for him it meant nothing.

In time God decided to join with the world spirit and guided her through creation of creatures which would help her thrive. Together they moved particles, caused some to join to create new, more complex particles. Eventually together these complex particles joined to create living creatures.  Some of these creatures flew, some swam, and some that walked. Some of these living beings, God and Earth found good and their majick came to these creatures in the form or luck or fate, but really it was just a sign of God's or Earth's pleasure. It helped them thrive and as the creatures upon the Earth thrived, so did the mother. Some creatures could not adapt to the changes in the world as Mother Earth grew and eventually died out.

After a time, one creature seemed to thrive differently than the rest. They grew smarter, learned how to shape and use tools to improve their living conditions. God loved these creatures the most and shown his love (luck) on them. Earth was more wary of these creatures God called, Man. She was afraid of what their intelligence would become. But her being a young planet, and having less majick than God, his will overruled. But she continued to watch them as they grew upon her face and fed them from her body. God might shelter them but she fed them. As she watched she saw some of these man creatures show respect for the Earth, as they would a mother. She saw this as good and granted them her luck and they thrived better than others.

As man grew, and his people grew, God fell in love with a mortal woman, a woman who seemed to encompass all God hoped man would eventually became. She was one of Earth Mother's favorites, one Earth had seeded and taught. This woman lived alone and revered nature. She learned many secrets from the Mother and eventually became something like what we would know as a witch.

When she reached her 200th birthday God decided to visit her. He came to her in the guise of a stranger lost in the wood. She welcomed him for she had been alone for many years. She also recognized him as something akin to herself and wanted to know him better. She shared many things with him and at her 300th birthday he told her all he was and asked her to share eternity with him. She accepted him, already guessing much of what he said. God taught Elli his secrets so she may be like a God also and together they watched over his people, taught them what they needed to know at the proper time, and had many children who they taught to be God-like.  Nyet, Goddess of the Night; Dayal, God of the Day; Feywin, Goddess of Spirit; Oshear, God of Water; Wicha, Goddess of Majick; Belain, God of War and Fire; Aerius, God of the Air; Woldar, God of Beasts; Lyrae, Goddess of Love; Bearius, God of (burdens); Methumial, God of Metal; Florette, Goddess of Nature; and Phiobe, Goddess of Beauty. The World knew many generations of peace and harmony under their watch.

Eventually, Phiobe, who walked among men more frequently than the others, met a man she came to love. He happened upon her one day while she was sitting riverside singing softly to the sprites of the water. He fell instantly in love with her; he courted her as if she was a mortal maiden. As time went by their love grew and her love for him forged bonds of majick she had not known of. By the time God and Elli learned of their love it was too late to change. Elli told her daughter she must choose. For he was not like those her sisters and brothers had chosen, Phiobe's lover had no majickal blood. So he could not learn to use majick to prolonging life and health. Will she watch her mortal lover grow old and die or will she leave him, which seems like the kinder to do. Phiobe could not put aside her inherent nature but she couldn't leave her lover either. They decided to live together as long as his life would last and when he was reborn she would seek him out and live again as lovers. This seemed to them, at the time, a doable option. They lived out his life in her mother’s old cottage, happy and fulfilled.

Phiobe didn't understand the heart wrenching pain of watching her lover die until his final days were upon him. She lay next to him on their bed, her as beautiful as the first day they met and him a withered, sick, old man. She held him as he fell gently to sleep never to awaken. How long she laid there is uncertain. Her majick was enough to preserve him in small ways but without majick himself there were limits.

Elli eventually came to comfort her and together they set the funeral pyre. Elli implored Phiobe to remember this pain and not to seek him out again when his soul was reborn.  Phiobe's brother Belain tried to comfort his sister because his love for her was larger than most. But his soul was tainted by jealousy and anger. Phiobe could feel his malice even if she didn't understand it or its reason. None of the family knew about Belain's unnatural lust for his sister. He hid it well, and over the course of Phiobe's lover’s absence, Belain learned to use the jealousy and anger to feed and sustain him just as they had learned to transmute love, happiness, and joy. He also learned to feed off others jealousy and anger to fuel himself, he learned out to cultivate the jealousy and anger in Man for him to feed from.  He felt more powerful when he did and believed himself to be the most powerful of all his brothers and sisters.

Many solar revolutions came and went while Phiobe searched. Many moons waxed and waned. Then she felt it, nearing the 600th moon, approximately 46 solar revolutions after her lovers death, she felt his presence in the World. She allowed herself to be pulled along, to follow the scent of his aura, to be guided by the bond that was unwittingly forged. At last she found him, he was just a babe, a babe his mother’s arms but she knew it was him. His parents named him Andras. Long did she ponder what to do, how and when to approach him. One night while he was five, he became lost in the wood. He was supposed to be gathering wood for the fire and took a wrong turn. She was there and guided him back. As she held his hand leading him home she knew, this boy had some majick. She could see in his eyes that he had felt the bond as well. One day, not long after, while Andras was playing in the fields, a three-year old Phiobe met and played with him. She stayed in a house on the edge of the field that had been empty, and when Phiobe needed parents to make an appearance, two of her siblings appeared at the door.

Phiobe and Andras spent the next ten solar revolutions playing together everyday; swimming, hiking, running. They built forts and trenches. He taught her how to harvest crops, and she taught him to use majick. The happy days didn't seem like they could get any better. Phiobe was never any happier than the day he kissed her for the first time. Lying by the river, in swimming things, soaking the sun, Andras grabbed her hand. She turned her face to his and smiled. He reached for her face with his other hand and kissed her so softly on the lips. He held the kiss for several moments, he pulled away, put his forehead to hers and said those three words she hadn't heard in over a half century, "I love you, Phiobe".

But someone started to notice Phiobe's absence from the "dinner table". Belain grew more anxious at Phiobe's continued absence. He knew she was looking for her lover but she always returned every few solstices. She hadn't been "home" in over ten solar revs. One day he went out to look for her, and when he found her with Andras, he nearly exploded the whole village with his rage. He could not believe she was successful and that he really did return. Belain went to the other end of the wood next to her village and started exploding trees, the Mother took notice and scolded him, but not with words. She lifted the ground under his feet and he rolled down the newly formed hill into the ocean which smacked him in the face with its waves until he was thoroughly chastised and apologized. After that he controlled his ire and plotted how to derail this coupling. As he nursed his anger Phiobe and Andras lived their life, grew, and eventually married.

One day Phiobe implored her mother, how could she live a true life with her beloved Andras? Elli took pity on her lovestruck daughter and told her she could decide to not use energy to prolong her life, she could also use Andras' majick to create life inside her body. It was majick learned from the Mother. Phiobe took her mother's advice and the Mother's lessons and became with child. She ceased transmuting energy to prolong her life and health and as their son grew, they grew old. When Belain learned of Phiobe's decision and saw the truth of her choices in her graying hair and the eyes of her nearly grown son, he could no longer stand idle. He put thoughts of lust in a stranger who came into town as a traveler. Even though Phiobe aged she was still beautiful, and this stranger made his lust known to her. Phiobe laughed off the advances; she was still naïve about the evil qualities that could be found in Man.  But her son was angered.  He had been born to this world, with a mortal father, and knew the fallibility of Man.  Phiobe's son sought to chastise the stranger and did battle on him one night at the inn.

By the time Andras got to the inn both men were heavily injured. Belain used the fight to his advantage; he put thoughts of anger towards Andras and the son for blocking his path to Phiobe, and to Phiobe herself for spurning his advances. One night, after a few nights of recovery, the stranger crept up to Phiobe and Andras' home; he snuck inside during the night and planned to beat them both with a large tree branch he found in the yard. This stranger struck Andras first, he never woke. Phiobe awoke to the sound and only had time to scream once before she was struck. The son, hearing his mother scream, awoke and ran into the room.  Seeing the stranger standing over his parents with the branch, he attacked the stranger. During the fight, the fire that was lit inside the bedroom of the house escaped the pit and caught the wooden structure ablaze.  The fire caught the stranger as he grappled with the son and as he struggled to put himself out the son ran to save his parents. He pulled his mother to safety through the bedroom window and went to reenter for his father.  But before he could reenter through the window, Belain, who watched the encounter from the edge of the wood, encouraged the fire to flare up and engulf the home. The son was thrown to the ground next to his mother; he crawled to her and cradled her as the house burned. Many people came out and tried to fight the fire but all they could do was keep it from spreading. They listened to the sounds of the stranger as he burned inside the house, as the son held his dying mother in his arms. As Phiobe looked her son in the eyes, she had a vision of his future. She saw him find love, grow old, and have many children. She saw a long healthy bloodline that she could use to reincarnate and live out many lives with her beloved. She stroked her sons face, with tears in his eyes he told her he loved her. She told her son she loved him too and died.

God and Elli grieved with Phiobe's son and charged man with the counting of the solar revolutions as years, starting with this as year one to keep time so that man might be reminded of the beauty that once graced the world of man, until the day that Phiobe rejoins her family as a Goddess once again. 

Fast Food Drive Thru 101

My number one job as a fast food drive thru order taker/cashier is to get each customer from the moment they roll over the pressure plate at the order menu to the time they drive off the pressure plate at the 2nd window in under 120 seconds.  That is two minutes to take your order, take your money, make your food, and deliver it with all your extras.  The bosses who sit in their clean, organized offices that have never stepped foot inside the fast food restaurants they manage long distance do not care if you asked for a water cup, or extra whatever at the pick up window and it took a few extra seconds to do that.  They don't care that noone was behind you so you unpacked your bag to open that cheeseburger you ordered and ran up my times.  They only care that I got you out in under 120 seconds happy, or not.  So here is a few tips when coming into my drive thru (any anyone elses) that will help me keep my job and get you what you want in an orderly fashion.

• Don't take two minutes to figure out what you want, (you already blew my time for that day part) come inside instead.
• Ask for ketcup, water, extra whatever, at the order screen so we can have it in your bag ready to go.
• Don't come through with 4 separately paid orders, (come inside).
• Don't come through ordering $40 worth of food, (come inside). 
• Late night after dining room closes, don't order 10 of the same thing, (call ahead, yes you can do that) we just don't keep that much product ready to go.  

A few other tips on drive thru etiquette.

• Don't drive up screaming "hello".  You ran over the pressure plate, I hear you fine.  I am supposed to answer you in under 3 seconds.  If you wait longer than 3 seconds its because something is wrong inside, or with my headset.  Most likely my manager on shift is also wearing a headset and can hear you, me, and any issues that might be going on inside.  If I take too long he/she will answer instead.  Your "hello" the moment you drive up is unnecessary and irritating. 
• No employee, no matter how mad you make them, will never fuck up, or spit in your food on purpose.  Our job means more to us than getting back at you.  Since we are all on camera, spitting in your food or screwing something up, really isn't an option.
• Be nice to your drive thru cashier, he/she is a real person and has probably been standing on their feet for hours, alternating between hot and cold, running like a mad person, and most often is doing multiple things at the same time.  Not to mention many fast food employees make so little money they come in even if they don't want to, are in pain, tired, or have personal issues at home.  
• Please know how you want your burgers when you order them.  Chances are the sandwich maker is listening to you and already making your food the moment you say "cheeseburger" so if you go back and say, "no onions" or worse "no mayo", they have to remake what they already made possibly making the whole process take longer.  
• Please ask for extra condiments or water cups AT THE SPEAKER!  Very important, this allows us time to get it in your bag instead of asking at the window and running up my drive thru times (remember those big wigs looking at only my numbers?)

I hope this helps you the next time you roll through my drive thru (or someone else's).  

Why I hate wearing dresses

What is it about dresses that makes everyone think "pretty"??  Why do so many groups think women have to wear a dress to be pretty, professional, approachable, successful, etc??  Even other women think that wearing a dress gives you a 'leg up' in business.
This is a classic example of 'perpetrating your own stereotype".  Women telling women that wearing a dress makes 'anything' better.  I have even been told to try it out.  Wear a dress and see if you don't get more customers than when you wear anything else.  So not only do women tell other women if they want to get ahead, "wear a dress" but also women look at other women and judge them based on whether they wear a dress versus any other professional attire.
No woman looks "prettier", more "professional", or better in any way in a dress versus any other professional suit.  A nice dress pants suit can make a woman look pretty, professional, or any other adjective you want to attach to that.
I have thought about this for a while and I can only come up with one word, one adjective that applies to a woman in a dress that may not apply to a woman in a pants suit.

That word

Delicate

A woman in a dress is viewed by other women and men as sweeter, more delicate, more approachable, friendlier, even sexy, but guess what people.  Not prettier, or more beautiful.  A woman in a pants suit can look just as beautiful, just as sexy even, as a woman in a dress.  The worst part is that other women think the same fucking thing!  By wearing a dress in order to appear this way to others is demeaning and brings us backwards.  It tells others that "yes we know you judge me by my clothes so here I am wearing this to appear the way I want to be judged".

A woman who wears a dress because they like it, or it is more comfortable to them has my respect.  But we have to stop thinking a dress gives women an advantage over any other nice outfit.  I taught my girls from young, in order to be pretty all you need is to be clean and healthy.  Your clothes don't make you pretty, your hair styled doesn't make you pretty, makeup on your face does not make you pretty.

Women have been striving for decades to be seen as equals to men in business and other things.  How can we be judged as equals if we do that by wearing a dress??

Once upon a time, everyone wore a 'dress'.  They were called kilts or togas.  Romans wore them, Spartans wore them, Greeks wore them, Vikings wore them, Native Americans wore them.  Some of our greatest historical male warriors wore an outfit that these days would be called a dress, or skirt.  My belief is horses is when men started wearing leg coverings.  Riding horses made men more practical in what they wear.  Not wanting their junk rubbing bare over a horses saddle or back.  Women rode side saddle,  Women never needed to change their clothing.  And of course, women all throughout history believed the same thing as many women today.  A dress can give you an advantage in a man's world.

This is where I call bullshit!

Even women are surprised when a woman in the movies wearing a dress starts kicking ass.

Because a dress and tough do not go hand in hand.  Why not??

Because not enough women say

"I refuse to wear anything for the purpose of creating the judgement I desire in others".

Step up people.  Show the world that wearing a dress is what you want and not what they want.

Pedestrians

I wanna talk for a minute about pedestrians.  I am the first to say that when I am driving, pedestrians can be a pain.  They cross in front of you at the wrong moment, many don't obey proper pedestrian procedures or laws, and they can act as if they always have the right of way and cars need to stop for them no matter what.
But as a pedestrian, drivers can be equally, if not more severely, obstinate.  Even when a pedestrian follows every right of way and crossing laws, drivers are still pissy and impatient when a pedestrian gets in the way.  Drivers will honk, speed, cut off, and drive dangerously when they find a pedestrian in the way. There is one corner that while crossing the street, following the right of way (walking when I see the walk man, and staying inside the crosswalk) I have almost been hit multiple times.
At corners are not the only time drivers are rude and drive dangerously.  Many times I have witnesses reckless and dangerous driving inside my housing complex.  While I understand that the speed limit is technically 25 miles an hour, that doesn't mean you HAVE to drive 25, nor speed up to 30 or 35 to pass a slow moving driver on a neighborhood street.  People need to pay attention to the conditions of the neighborhood and drive accordingly, even if the law is more lenient.  Such as street corners, especially during hours when children are in the street.  We all know that children follow rules very infrequently and only when they think they will get caught breaking them.  Many times I have witnessed drivers going too fast around the corner where my house sits.  Driving so fast that they cross to the oncoming side just to cut the corner as fast as they can go.  What they don't realize is not only is my daughter out there, many times on her bike riding around, but also many other smaller children on their bikes.
Also, my complex has a back entrance to an elementary school in it.  Too many times cars drive too fast that is safe down that street and across the crosswalk for the school at a time of day when children will probably be crossing.  They take a dangerous chance of a child running out in front of them, and even at 25 miles an hour, a car can still kill a child.  Too many times I am sitting in my car on the side of the road waiting for my baby girl to get out of school and a car drives down the road so fast that my truck sways from side to side.  My truck is pretty big, it is a 91 Dodge Ram D150.  And to move my truck, you HAVE to be going faster than 25.


Drivers need to pay attention and use some common sense.

1. When turning right, pause and watch for walkers crossing the road before turning.
2. When leaving or entering entrance or exits, watch for pedestrians and DO NOT block the crosswalk.  (it is against the law)
3. When driving through a neighborhood, drive slow and watch for children.  
4. Go slower and watch harder at those times that children will be going to or leaving school.

Trust me, you do not want to live the rest of your life knowing you injured or killed a child because you broke an easy law to follow.  If you were any kind of decent person, even if you were in the letter of the law and killed a child you would still live with a heavy weight for the rest of your life.  Injuring anyone by an accident is not something you want to live with, whether child or adult.