29 Sept 2011

Thursdays are the new day I love the most.  It means the last day of my work week for my prek kids as friday is FRIDAY FUN DAY.  Tomorrow’s snack is an edible campfire.  It ought to be fun and will post pictures tomorrow.  Still havent heard from the admissions person for the cyber school but sent an email through their website with my information.  Maybe the school next door is a crock of bull.  LOL!!  For dinner we had Parmesan crusted Tilapia, Parmesan pasta roni, and celery with Peanut butter.  Eric didn’t like the celery, ‘didn’t go with the fish’.  LOL.  I thought it was delish!!  And we mixed our own tartar sauce which was pretty good too.  Filled me up anyways.  Lila was cute, after dinner she was writing in her notebook, I gave her a pudding, she ate it, put both down and passed out.  Never ceases to amaze me how fast that girl can fall asleep.  Raven hasn’t complained about her shoulder after school,  that tells me it is getting better.  Of course, recalled a bit of the past today.  I talked about Jason today.  Remember about our plans to by a boat and move to the islands after stealing all my kids back.  LOL.  Some days I wonder what my life would have been after that.  Thought about how my relationship with Arlene has changed. We still don’t talk that much and when we do she reminds me I must not care much cause I don’t call her much.  It is all starting to get to me.  Last she reminded me, I asked her to video chat with only one excuse after another why each chat methods would not work. ah well, I keep saying you can never go back.  Just gotta text from Stalker so gotta go.  Talk to ya tomorrow. 

28 Sept 2011

So today is a self assessment for school, they have determined:

The Cautious Style (C Style): The Cautious Styles are analytical, persistent, systematic people who enjoy problem solving. They are detail-oriented, which makes them more concerned with content than style. The C Styles are task-oriented people who enjoy perfecting processes and working toward tangible results. They are almost always in control of their emotions and may become uncomfortable around people who are very out-going, e.g., the Interactive Styles. In the office, the Cautious Styles work at a slow pace, allowing them to double-check their work. They tend to see the serious, complex side of situations, but their intelligence and ability to see different points of view endow them with quick and unique senses of humor.The Cautious Styles have high expectations of themselves and others, which can make them over-critical. Their tendency toward perfectionism � taken to an extreme � can cause �paralysis by over-analysis.� The C Styles are slow and deliberate decision-makers. They do research, make comparisons, determine risks, calculate margins of error, and then take action. The Cautious Styles become irritated by surprises and glitches, hence their cautious decision-making. The C Styles are also skeptical, so they like to see promises in writing. The Cautious Styles� strengths include an eye for detail and accuracy, dependability, independence, persistence, follow-through, and organization. They are good listeners and ask a lot of questions; however, they run the risk of missing the forest for the trees.

The Assessor (Ci)
You are predominantly a Cautious Style.

We break each main Style down into four Substyles.  Yours is the Ci, which we call The Assessor. The Assessor is LESS guarded and LESS indirect than most other Cautious styles.  Below is a snapshot of The Assessor Substyle� as such, it�s a closer look at you!

The primary goal that motivates you is accomplishing goals with excellence.

As a quick thinker, you can deal with many inputs simultaneously; however, you may be slow to take action.  Your nickname of �Assessor� is based on your evaluative approach to people and tasks.  You tend to have strong opinions about people and groups with whom you do not identify or agree.

YOUR TENDENCIES INCLUDE

• Being tense with yourself and others when under pressure
• Having a natural curiosity about people
• Being concerned about what people think, feel, and expect
• Having strong attachments to your personal interests
• Underestimating the time required to complete tasks
• Being intuitive and observant about situations and people
• Associating your self-worth with your work
• Being intrigued by concepts, ideas, and processes

YOUR GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES

     With Tasks:

You're an idea person who can profit by being more attentive to details and timely follow-through.  Your curiosity sometimes leads to unpredictable digressions while you work.  You can benefit by learning to pace yourself.  Taking time-outs during the workday may help allay your natural intensity.

     With People:

Because you're intense by nature, you tend to be impatient with yourself and others, especially when things aren't going well.  Therefore, focus on remaining positive when dealing with situations and people under pressure.  If you can control your thoughts and emotions in such cases, you can then use your creativity to discover workable solutions.

PERSONAL EMPOWERMENT POINTERS

• Be attentive to what others expect.  Deliver that first before digressing into other areas that are likely to be of greater interest or curiosity to you.
• Stay focused on key priorities.  Do that by sorting tasks into "immediate," "shorter-range," and "long-term" categories.  Indicate those that you alone must do, those for which you share responsibility, and finally, those for which others have primary responsibility and your involvement is limited.
• Treat yourself to free time and recreation.

SUBSTYLES OF CAUTIOUS STYLES

The goal that motivates The Assessor (or Ci)�is accomplishing goals with excellence. As a quick thinker, you can deal with many inputs simultaneously; however, you may be slow to take action. The nickname of �Assessor� is based on your evaluative approach to people and tasks; you tend to have strong opinions about people and groups with whom you do not identify or agree

Cautious styles are slower-paced and task-focused.  They are also indirect and guarded.  They are concerned with analytical processes and are persistent, systematic problem solvers.  They can also be seen as aloof, picky and critical.  Cautious styles are very security-conscious and have a high need to be right, leading them to an over reliance on data collection.  In their quest for data, they tend to ask many questions about specifics.  Their actions and decisions tend to be slow and extremely cautious, but they will rarely miss a deadline.  Though Cautious styles are great problem solvers, they could be better decision makers.

Cautious styles tend to be perfectionistic, serious, and orderly.  They focus on the details and the process of work, and become irritated by surprises and �glitches.�  Their theme is, �Notice my efficiency,� and their emphasis is on compliance and working within existing guidelines to promote quality in products or service.

Cautious styles like organization and structure and dislike too much involvement with other people.  They work slowly and precisely by themselves, are time-disciplined, and prefer an intellectual work environment.  Cautious styles tend to be critical of their own performance.  They tend to be skeptical and like to see things in writing.

Their primary strengths are their accuracy, dependability, independence, follow-through and organization.  Their primary weaknesses are their procrastination and conservative nature, which promote their tendency to be picky and over-cautious.  Occupations that Cautious styles tend to gravitate toward are accounting, auditing, engineering, computer programming, the hard sciences (chemistry, physics, math), systems analysis, architect, and artist.

The greatest irritation for Cautious styles is disorganized, illogical people.  In business environments, Cautious styles want others to be credible, professional, and courteous.  In social environments, Cautious styles like others to be pleasant and sincere.

Environment clues include highly organized desks with clear tops.  Their office walls contain their favorite types of artwork: charts, graphs, exhibits or pictures pertaining to the job.  Cautious styles are non-contact people who prefer the formality of distance.  This preference is reflected in the functional but uninviting arrangement of their desk and chairs.  Cautious styles are not fond of huggers and touchers, and prefer a cool handshake or a brief phone call.

To improve their balance and behavioral flexibility, they need to: openly show concern and appreciation of others; try shortcuts and time-saving occasionally; adjust more readily to change and disorganization; improve timely decision-making and initiation of new projects; compromise with the opposition; state unpopular decisions; and use policies more as guidelines than hard and fast laws.

CAUTIOUS STYLES� MOTIVATORS

Cautious styles are motivated by the desire to be correct.  Part of their identity is based upon their competence and the fact that they strive to do things right.  They emphasize, therefore, things like precise understanding, accurate work, proper manners, and impeccable personal habits. Conversely, Cautious styles fear personal criticism or actions that threaten their self-preservation.  Their means for avoiding such conflicts include self-protective actions such as building personal armor that makes it difficult for others to penetrate. It is often difficult to determine their real feelings due to their wall of privacy.  Cautious styles believe that this privacy reduces the probability of being victimized by irrational acts or negative situations.  When stressed or under pressure, Cautious styles just want to be left alone.

Cautious styles naturally favor a methodical and deliberate approach to decision making.  They like to be well prepared.  They want to know exactly what is expected of them and then they satisfy those requirements by being highly organized.  Cautious styles like to be viewed as dependable.  They almost always deliver on their promises, which they are careful about making in order to avoid unneeded difficulties.

Cautious styles take pride in their ability to size up people and situations objectively.  Cautious styles like to clarify, reflect, and contemplate before making decisions.  They are resourceful individuals who look at life in multiple ways, many of which are unique.  Their ideas are often ingenious and highly creative.

Cautious styles are appreciated most by people who appreciate different and somewhat unique - or at least different - perspectives. As a free thinker, Cautious styles are inclined to explore different types of interests and behaviors.  When people get to know them well, they often comment on their sense of humor.  People also appreciate their ability to be discrete and avoid embarrassing other people.

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CAUTIOUS STYLES� GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES

Cautious styles tend to be indecisive, especially when dealing with more complex, new, or adverse situations.  They dislike making mistakes or being embarrassed.  Before making decisions, they want all the information and time needed to ponder all the possibilities -- whether the situation allows this or not.  Their need to be accurate and as perfect as possible often causes Cautious styles to over-analyze and over-engineer things.  They can also be "worry-warts."

Cautious styles fear criticism, so they tend to be less communicative in general.  Their modus operandi is to keep their ideas and feelings to themselves, especially when in doubt.  They generally "play their cards close to their vest" or not at all.  Other people may view Cautious styles as being unresponsive, aloof, or uninterested.

Cautious styles can benefit by learning to share their feelings.  They can also benefit by showing genuine appreciation, acknowledgment, and recognition for others.  Cautious styles tend to be highly judgmental and demanding, and often wonder why people cannot try to be perfect; after all, they are.  This attitude often produces further tension in their relationships.

Cautious styles can benefit from being more collaborative in their dealings with people.  Instead of confronting people with their discontent, Cautious styles tend to withhold and store this information in case they need to build a case against them in the future.  Ironically, sometimes their relationships take a turn for the worse for this reason -- poor communication skills.  Instead, Cautious styles would benefit by sharing their concerns with others in the spirit of forging a common bond.

Finally, Cautious styles can benefit by being less self-critical and demanding.  They are often very tense and suffer from a failure to relax and focus on recognizing and enjoying their accomplishments and interests.

IN A NUTSHELL:

• Cautious styles are slower-paced and task-focused
• They�re cautious in their actions and decisions
• Cautious styles dislike involvement
• Cautious styles ask many questions about specific details
• Cautious styles prefer an objective, task-oriented, intellectual work environment
• Cautious styles want to be right, so they can be overly reliant on data collection
• Cautious styles work slowly and precisely on their own

• Cautious styles have good problem solving skills

STRENGTHS:

Planning
Dependability
Problem Solving
Systematizing

WEAKNESSES:

Perfectionistic
Critical
Unresponsive

PACE:

Slower/Systematic

GOALS:

Precision
Organization
Accuracy

FEARS:

Work criticism
Surprises

MOTIVATORS:

The process
Correctness

IRRITATIONS:

Unpredictability
Disorganization

UNDER STRESS:

Become withdrawn

DECISIONS ARE:

Deliberate

FOCUS:

Tasks

WORKPLACE: 

Functional
Formal

GAINS SECURITY THROUGH:

Thoroughness
Preparation

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THE CAUTIOUS STYLE�S TYPICAL BUSINESS CHARACTERISTICS

• Concerned with process; want to know how something works
• Intuitive and original; once they know the expected structure, they may invent their own structure, method, or model
• More interested in quality than quantity; prefer lower output to inferior results
• Want to be right, so Cautious styles employ logical thinking processes to avoid mistakes
• Over-attend to quality control, especially when stressed, sometimes impeding progress with regular checking and rechecking

THE CAUTIOUS STYLE�S PREFERRED BUSINESS SITUATIONS

• Colleagues and superiors do not criticize their work or ideas
• Can set the quality control standards and check to see if they are properly implemented
• Work with complete data systems, or can formulate some themselves
• Superiors value correctness and let Cautious styles know they are key players in the organization
• Workplaces are organized and process-oriented, with a minimum of socializing

SUGGESTIONS FOR CAUTIOUS STYLES TO BE MORE EFFECTIVE AT WORK

• Take time to negotiate and clarify time frames with associates in order to avoid misunderstanding and disappointment and keep themselves on track
• Recognize and acknowledge the feelings of others� remember that many people are unable to check their feelings and personal problems at the door when they enter the workplace
• Share your own feelings and concerns with colleagues
• Accept the fact that you generally will not be able to achieve perfection in your work� adopt a reasonable standard of high quality that is appropriate for your type of work
• Develop a quality control plan that assures your desired level of quality without unduly slowing the overall process
• Interact informally with your supervisor and coworkers� this will help you to know and understand them better as well as give you some insights into the work problems that they are facing
• Be more accepting of the ideas and behavior of others, recognizing that your way may not be the only way to achieve quality results
• Stand up to people with whom you have a disagreement and openly discuss and resolve your differences... do not try to avoid these people or strategize against them

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Under stress, Cautious styles have a tendency to withdraw.

An example of a typical response to a stressful situation from Cautious styles might be:
�I can�t help you any further.  Do what you want.�

UNDER STRESS, CAUTIOUS STYLES MAY APPEAR:

• Over-reliant on data and documentation
• Resistant to change
• Slow to act
• Slow to begin work
• Unable to meet deadlines
• Unimaginative
• Withdrawn
• Resentful

UNDER STRESS, CAUTIOUS STYLES NEED:

• Guarantees that they are right
• Understanding of principles and details
• A slow pace for �processing� information
• Accuracy

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CAUTIOUS STYLES� TYPICAL BEHAVIOR IN CONFLICT

• Cautious styles are quite uncomfortable with overt conflict, aggression and anger. They will do whatever they can to avoid these situations and to avoid individuals with whom they have a disagreement.
• Cautious styles appear to acquiesce to the demands of others and, thus, avoid conflict. In reality, however, they are often just withdrawing to enable them to prepare for a future, probably covert, attempt to reestablish their position.
• Cautious styles often resort to various indirect techniques to manipulate the environment to make it more favorable to their position. They may resort to little known rules and procedures, the literal meaning of regulations, the use of committees, and other indirect approaches.
• Although Cautious styles generally avoid overt conflict, they may speak out on a matter of principle in order to protect their high standards.
• Since Cautious styles tend to focus on quality and their own high standards, they may become demanding in order to ensure compliance.
• Their tendency to be something of a loner may make it more difficult for other people to trust Cautious styles, although their demonstrated reliability tends to offset this.
• Cautious styles tend to hold conflicts or conflicting views in their mind, looking for proof that they are right or a new valid way of looking at things that accommodates both points of view.

STRATEGIES TO REDUCE CONFLICT AND INCREASE HARMONY WITH OTHERS

• Recognize that others may be more comfortable dealing with conflict, anger, and aggression. Expressions of anger or somewhat aggressive behavior by others are not necessarily personal attacks on you.
• Be more open with your friends and coworkers, sharing your feelings, needs and concerns with them.
• Stand up for yourself with supervisors, friends, and coworkers rather than avoiding them or pretending to go along with them.
• Include all the people involved with a project in your decision-making process.  Ask for their suggestions as well as their data.
• Be sure to share the reasoning behind your decisions.  Failure to do so makes them seem arbitrary.

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Behavioral adaptability is the key to success with different styles.  It can be defined as the willingness and ability to engage in a range of behaviors not necessarily characteristic of your style in response to effectively dealing with the requirements of a situation or relationship.  It involves making adjustments to your methods of communicating and behaving based on the particular needs of the relationship at a particular time.  Adaptable people make the choice to go beyond their own comfort zone so others also feel more comfortable.

On the next few pages are action plans to give Cautious styles suggestions on how to adapt their behavior, as well as ideas for others to help Cautious styles be more adaptable.  It will give them clues to understand the Cautious style�s behavioral tendencies. 

To make the most effective use of these assessments and action plans, have all those you interact with complete an observer response form on how they see you, as well as an assessment on themselves.  Then set aside some time to discuss strategies you each can use in adapting your behaviors to create greater ease and less conflict in the relationships.

Cautious Styles...
Dealing With Cautious Styles...

- Are concerned with controlling emotions; avoiding aggression
- Approach them in an indirect, non-threatening way

- Think logically
- Show your reasoning

- Seek data
- Give it to them in writing

- Need to know the process
- Provide explanations and rationale

- Utilize caution
- Allow them to think, inquire and check things out before they make decisions

- Prefer to do things alone
- When delegating, let them check on others� progress and performance

- Want others to notice their accuracy
- Compliment them on their thoroughness and correctness

- Gravitate toward quality control
- Let them assess and be involved in the process when possible

- Avoid conflict
- Tactfully ask for clarification and assistance you may need

- Need to be right
- Allow them time to find the best or �correct� answer, within available limits

- Like to contemplate
- Tell them �why� and �how�

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For Cautious Styles:

• Modify criticism (spoken or unspoken) of others� work
• Check less often, or only check the critical things (not everything), allowing the flow of the process to continue
• Ease up on controlling emotions; engage in more water cooler interaction
• Accept the fact that you can have high standards without expecting perfection
• Occasionally confront a colleague (or boss) with whom you disagree, instead of avoiding or ignoring them and doing what you want to do anyway
• Tone down your tendency to OVER prepare

For Others Working with Cautious Styles:

Show yourself to be thorough and well prepared by:

• Supporting their organized, thoughtful approach when possible
• Showing commitment through your actions, not just words
• Being detailed, accurate, and logical
• Listing advantages and disadvantages of any plan
• Providing solid, tangible evidence
• Adhering to established procedures
• Giving assurances that decisions will not backfire on them

NOTE: To be more effective, have other people you work with take the assessment on themselves.  Then set aside some time to share the results.  Discuss how you each can adapt your behaviors to create more satisfying working relationships.

27 Sept 2011

Tonight for dinner? Chicken Corn Chowder, homemade!  This is what I did, Big pot of water to boil chicken 3lbs.  Emptied and strained the stock, cut up 8 strips of bacon and fried up.  Added small onion, two celery stalks and two tablespoons garlic.  cooked down,added half bag frozen potatoes, whole bag frozen corn, six cups milk, strained chicken stock, salt and pepper to taste.  Cooked about 25 minutes, added back pulled chicken, cooked another five minutes or so.  Added one can creamed corn, served with saltine crackers.  SOOOO GOOOD!!!!

26 Sept 2011

Tonight… Wheat spaghetti with Florentine, spinach, and cheese sauce.  Very nice.  Added a touch of ricotta and parmesan cheeses on top!  Now it is time to relax before doing my weekend assignment for week one of my new class. 

25 Sept 2011

So trying out my new Windows Live Writer.  Should send my post straight to my blog! 

  So Tonight for Dinner, homemade burgers and fries!  Eric mixed up his own burgers with a bit of onion, bbq sauce, spices, etc.  We bought frozen fries and tossed it in onion soup mix and vegetable oil.  Turned out FANTASIC!!  After wards me and my girls will get some chips and dippies, and even later, Devils food cake!  OH YEAH!  Great Sunday.